thx melody and joan for the emails... and thx clara for the comment!

i do know what u mean... i think i shud take it slowly as joan has said... the reason why i wanted to go to the US is becuz they have a broader course to start off with... in other words i dun have to specialise in a specific area too soon, before i actually know what the course is about. but i guess that doesn't always happen... in fact if i do natural sciences here in the UK i may something similar! so i guess i'll just see how it goes the second time... if they're still not good enough then i'll just forget about US, i think...

mum suggested that perhaps i shud do my undergrad degree in the UK, and do postgrad in the US if possible. that was what ppl advised me from the start... the thing is i didn't want to give up the SATs yet. i thought i could've done better than this, so i felt very upset about it for a while.

i know, going to UK is not a bad thing at all!! in fact at the beginning i did not want to go to american universities, becuz i'd be away from all my frds, i have to do so much to TRY to get in, and i have to get used to a brand new environment. it must be quite a hard time, unless i live close to my uncles and aunts in california. but my parents encouraged to do more and more research about the US. not that i fully understand both education systems right now, but the more i get into the US universities the more i felt that i dun wanna waste my efforts for nothing. i know it sounds stupid, and at the end i may have wasted much more effort than i have already, but i dun wanna think of myself as "failing or not being bothered to get in, and that's why i'm now sticking to my UK universities"... however that's, in a way, the truth isn't it...!

so basically the truth hurts i just have to learn to accept it. but there's stil a tiny bit of hope on the next SAT... but somehow i have the feeling that i'm gonna end up in the UK, so i'm gonna have all this time wasted and that drives me crazy. i suppose i can call myself having the "time-wasting-phobia" if that makes sense... if everyone has a certain something that would annoy them, mine would be time-wasting. it's a thing i have. besides the next SAT is quite close to my mocks as well so guess i can't go out much in the christmas holidays... *sigh*

ok wanna end on a happy note this time... take a look at my halloween costume at:

http://www.webshots.com/user/mint_tea


THE HARRY POTTER PREMIER IS TOMORROW... melody u going to leicester square by any chance? :p